Adapting

Always in life there will be changes.

I mean it isn’t life unless there is some sort of change. We all need to grow and thrive on at one point, right? Change is ever going and it never stops. Our cells in our bodies are currently changing. They’re replacing each other ever so slowly but they’re going. Every 7 years you have all new cells.

Does that mean we’re new people?

I planned to write more on this damn blog, but that hasn’t exactly worked out. I’m busy juggling homework and people at the moment, classes and the latest news around school and keeping up. Talk about a boat load of stress.

Recently, my best friend, (I guess I can call her that) was diagnosed with depression. She can’t get proper medication because it would mess with her ADD medication. When I first met talked to her after not seeing her for 8 or so years, she was this nice and caring and smart girl. Now she’s spiraling down a twister of never-ending depression. She’s struggling with her herbal medication that she’s using right now, to stay afloat. One minute she’s happy and the next minute she’s depressed and gazing off into nothingness.

An old enemy has now become a new friend. She’s more into the screamo-punk scene and is quite the unique person herself. Between talking with her about boy problems and her own depression, it’s always something new. A few weeks ago I noticed horizontal scars on her upper arm and realized she was cutting. About a week ago she confessed that she needed help. She was cutting still only on her stomach. But the reason she was telling me was that she had to tell her mother she needed help. She told me she wasn’t ready just yet but said she realized she needed help. I applauded her for taking the biggest and hardest step, in my opinion, towards recovering. She realized she had a problem, something most people can’t realize.

Around the time I broke up with my boyfriend a few weeks ago, my friend was finally released from the hospital. She had been there for what seem like ages, but was probably only two weeks. Her cousin is the first person I mentioned in this blog. And my best friend that her cousin was in the hospital for writing a suicide note and contemplating suicide…it was one of the hardest things I have ever done in my entire life. Watching my friend tear up, and myself with her.

I guess high school has opened my eyes even wider than they already were opened. It’s amazing of all the problems in the world and abroad, some of the biggest ones are here at home with you. With the people you love the most and care about.

Sometimes I feel like I’m drowning and suffocating myself listening and talking to these three people but there are others. Everyone has problems and needs to talk them out. I guess I feel honored that they entrust me with their own personal lives and problems and feelings. I mean, most people keep that stuff all bottled up and sit to themselves.

I hope I can do something for them, and for me.

I guess on a positive note, only 4 or 5 weeks of school left. I also got a compliment from the coordinator of the theater department. It was along the lines of how he was surprised I able to possess the role of a mother and how much of a motherly essence I have, which is rare for a 15-year-old teenager to have.

Maybe I’m just special?

With Love,

Matron Moon ♥